The Void - Informing you on movie reviews, cinema, music, competitions, wwe, ufc, games and other cool things.

Now, I’d better start by making an admission. I’m not a great gameplayer. I mean, I play games a lot, I’m just not great at them. Any setting higher than ‘child’s play’ and I’m struggling.

However, even for someone as inept as me, Shrek the Third was relatively easy to get to grips with. There’s a pretty straightforward opening sequence that helps you get to grips with the controls and then you’re on your way, with Donkey appearing occasionally to offer words of encouragement.

Initially, the game play consists of slapping people until they fall down, at which point they emit a kind of fairy dust. As you collect this fairy dust, you’ll see the power gauge in the top left corner of the screen fill up. Once it’s full you can use it to boost your, err, slapping power.

As the game progresses you find that you’ll swap characters, sometimes playing as Puss in Boots. Why he sounds like a horse trotting through the game I don’t know. He uses his sword to knock his foes over – no bloody sword fights here – and then, again, he collects the fairy dust to boost his power but, this time when he uses it, his enemies are blinded by love, temporarily at least.

The major flaw with this game is the way the camera sweeps through each scene. Instead of a fixed point behind each character, it changes viewpoint so often and so quickly, that it can make accurate control very tricky. On occasion, you can be jumping in one direction, then the camera sweeps through 180 degrees and, unfortunately, so does the direction you’re jumping in. Perhaps the creators thought it would look cinematic.

Another gripe is the way the characters, and that’s every single one of them, insist on swaying from side to side while they wait for your next move. It even goes on in the cut scenes. Is the whole cast of this game pissed?

And why does the game – which is an animated – look so poor when compared to the source material – which is also animated? It’s understandable when Superman is not being the spit of Brandon Routh in the game of the film, but is there really any excuse in a computer-generated game of a computer-generated film? Sadly, there’s no real humour in the game either – just playing as the characters from the film isn’t funny!

If, like me, you don’t fancy taking on anything too challenging, then you might (it’s a big might) enjoy this. It’s not totally unpleasant, and certainly younger children could have some fun with it. However these days, I expect my games to look, and go, much better than this offering.

Shrek the Third is available on the 360, PS2, PSP, Wii, DS and PC.

Yeah it’s not really a movie, but so what?

Cashing in on the release of Nick Love’s Outlaw (reviewed previously on The Void), Real Outlaws is little more than an excuse to show CCTV footage of chavs and pikeys beating the shit out of members of the public.

Despite the blurb on the sleeve, there are precious few ‘real vigilantes’ present, and those that are seem to be merely an afterthought; like the makers suddenly remembered the title of the DVD, so just jammed a couple in there.

Real Outlaws is an incredibly depressing watch and is (although it’s almost certainly an accident) a crushing indictment on today’s Britain. Fancy going out for a pint? Well you can’t because if you do, you’re going to end up having your head used as a football. Plan on telling the police? There’s not really much point.

The only ray of light on this DVD is the presentation by professional cockney Alan Ford. Once again, most probably accidentally, the guy is hilarious. After one particularly nasty piece of footage he asks, “What are we gonna do wiv these cunts? Hang ‘em!”Then he pauses for a moment, as if he’s really thinking hard about it, and continues “…or experiment on ‘em.”

If Real Outlaws lived up to its name and showed some of these scrotes getting a kicking from a group of pissed-off office workers then maybe it would be worth your money – as it is though, there is very little to recommend this DVD.

The Harry Potter carnival arrives back in town, and the good news is that it’s better than ever before.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was the longest and hardest-going of the books so far but the extensive trimming required to ensure that it didn’t become a bum-numbing cinematic trial means that the film benefits from the sharper editing that the book could have done with. The result is a gripping, intense and most unchildlike two hours and 18 minutes of top-class film entertainment.

There’s a fresh pair of hands at the helm in director David Yates, who makes the transition from a background of mainly TV work with ease.

Make no mistake, this is a much darker, bleaker affair than any of the previous films. It’s set in a sombre world washed in greys, where it feels like winter for most of the school year.

This tone is demonstrated right from the start when Harry and a superbly chavvy cousin Dudley face a Dementor attack in a grimy underpass, resulting in Har being hauled in front of the Ministry of Magic for improper use of his powers. He returns to Hogwarts under a cloud of accusations. The feelings of alienation continue, coupled with nightmares featuring Voldemort. It’s here that Daniel Radcliffe’s portrayal of Harry gets really interesting.

Since the last film he’s become grittier and more mature and he is now more than a match for the tone of the film. Yes, on the surface he’s essentially a more-than-averagely troubled teen but now, as you watch him wrestle with the mental torments that Voldemort supplies, you can really start believing that he’s a match for the Dark Lord. This is further demonstrated when he teaches a group of students who call themselves Dumbledore’s Army defensive magic.

This is also where the tone lightens temporarily, more humour shines through and Harry also gets to experience his first kiss. The boy is definitely growing up.

Some light relief also comes from the arrival of Professor Umbridge (Imelda Staunton) as this year’s Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Her penchant for pink adds a little colour to the proceedings and, initially at least, there’s humour to be had. But as her influence at Hogwarts increases, she’s not above adding her own brand of menace by imposing dozens and dozens of extra rules and, ultimately, torturing students.

Rarely has a character made the transition from book to film so seamlessly. Staunton’s pitch-perfect performance ensures that Umbridge is exactly as she is portrayed in the original text.

Sadly, and perhaps inevitably, there’s a fair bit missing. There’s no Quidditch, although a breathtaking scene early on shows that the best views of London can only be had on a broomstick, and many of the characters from previous films, mainly the teaching staff, have precious little to do and are reduced to fleeting glimpses in the briefest of scenes.

Rupert Grint, as Ron, whose reactions to situations simply light up the screen, is criminally underused. Having said that, it’s something of a relief where Emma Watson, as Hermione, is concerned. After five films, she still doesn’t seem to have picked up any more than the merest basics of acting.

The final scenes, where the pupils face a wizarding duel against a band of Death Eaters are nothing short of spectacular. The special effects are dazzling and the fight between Dumbledore and Voldemort is thunderously intense.

Harry’s final mental battle against his enemy is genuinely affecting and packs an unexpectedly emotional punch.

It’s hard to imagine how this series can improve any further, but the idea that it just might is hugely exciting.

“Is Walls there?”

“Sorry?”

“Is Walls there?”

“No.”

“You’d better get out of the house then – your ceiling’s going to fall down.”

Most people with a sense of humour have prank called someone in the past. The exchange above is a personal favourite from years gone by, but it has been well and truly trounced by the wind-up calls dished out on Fonejacker, which aired for the first time last night on E4.

Fonejacker is a show built entirely from recordings of real prank calls, all performed by the same actor. If you have ever prank called a friend, you’ll know that it’s often difficult to hoodwink them for long, as they invariably pick your voice out from the fake one you’re trying to do. However, the Fonejacker is unlikely ever to have had that problem as he’s capable of a wide variety of convincing voices for his array of characters.

On its debut show, Fonejacker featured such characters as a mouse, who calls a pet shop to ask about ways of disposing of the family cat, George Adgdgdwngo, an African scamster hell-bent on getting your bank details, and Terry Tibbs, a diamond geezer with the gift of the gab. Terry wants your motor, and he wants it on the cheap. E4 viewers got a sneak preview of Terry when he called into Big Brother’s Little Brother shortly before Fonejacker started, harassing ex-housemate Jonathan on his dramatic eyebrows.

Each prank call is accompanied visually by a mix of cartoons, a hilarious way of flashing images up to give different meaning to random words, and video recordings taken through the window of wherever the Fonejacker is calling. It is these ways of jazzing up the conversations between the Fonejacker and the infuriated/bemused victim that will probably give the show a bit of longevity. It was bloody hilarious, so let’s hope that happens.

Watch a clip of the show here:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4_duIXEzKI]

FoneJacker – Thursdays 9pm E4

Cool album title, cool band, but what about the music?

Don’t Dance Rattlesnake is a drunken party record full of songs about infidelity, jealousy, girls and drinking. The songs are built around great melodies, yet drip with malice and attitude – but what else would you expect from a band with all the swagger of The Strokes and the lyrical style (albeit with an American accent) of Arctic Monkeys? “She said jealousy is something that distracts you/I said it’s hard to focus with your fingers in his belt loops.”

Singer Michael Trent might be the skeeviest man you’ve never met, but his vocals bring to to mind Julian Casablancas; jumping between lazy drawl and overexcited yelping from track to track. Dark and grimy sleaze-rock at it’s very best, Don’t Dance Rattlesnake is a feedback-drenched drunken slur-along of an album, but shucks, there’s just something undeniably likeable about the whole thing.

There’s a danger that they’re a bit too knowingly cool, but who cares when they turn out albums that are this much fun?

You should totally click here.